6 Signs You’re in a Relationship for the Wrong Reasons
You’ve been in a relationship for a while now, and you thought it was working out fine, until one day it hit you – something felt off. You couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was, so you decided to ignore it, but now you’re starting to have serious doubts about your future as a couple. Maybe you find yourself enjoying the security of your relationship more than actually being with your SO, or maybe you’re hanging onto the wrong person for fear of not finding anyone else. To help you decide what to do, here are six signs that say it's time to move on.
1. You want the security
When you’ve been with someone a long time, imagining life without him or her can be terrifying. Perhaps you’ve noticed some signs that your SO isn’t right for you, but you’re afraid of losing a partner and a friend.Losing someone who has been so important in your life will not be easy, but if your instinct tells you that something is wrong, you need to trust it
2. You don’t want to be alone
If you’re used to being in a relationship or you’ve been single for a while, you might start to feel lonely. This could lead you to stay with the wrong person for fear of never finding anyone better. “Women often stay in bad relationships for many reasons, such as being afraid of not finding a better boyfriend and being alone,” Lieberman says. “They convince themselves that even a selfish, boring or abusive boyfriend is better than no boyfriend at all.” But even if your SO is perfectly nice, you shouldn't stay with him or her if it doesn't feel right.
3. You don’t want to lose your SO’s friends or family
If you got close to your partner's friends or family in the course of your relationship, it can make the idea of breaking up that much harder. When you break up with someone and you're close to their family, you feel like you're breaking up with 25 people.”
Be honest with yourself: If you know something is wrong, don't stick around just because you love your SO's entourage and don’t want to lose them.
Even though losing so many people at once will be difficult, nothing can justify staying in a relationship you know isn't meant to be.
4. You’re using your SO
Perhaps your SO brings you something that you wouldn't have without him or her, whether it's help with homework or a higher social status. This is great– unless it becomes the only reason you stay in the relationship.
According to , a relationship expert, girls often worry about losing their social status if they break up with their partners. But you might also be worried about losing other perks that come with being in a relationship, even if you're not fully aware of it.
Although you are probably aware that you are using your SO, you might not admit it to yourself – especially if the benefits seem to outweigh the costs of staying with him or her.
5. You’re scared of breaking up
Maybe you know that your relationship isn't working out, but the thought of breaking up terrifies you. That being said, “the fear of what might happen when you break up is not enough of a reason to stay.If you simply fear making the other person sad, know that they will be equally sad to find out you do not love them the way they deserve to be loved. If you fear them yelling at you, find a neutral spot where others are about so that he/she will be less likely to yell.”
So, yes, breaking up will most likely hurt both you and your SO, but “too many women take this as a sign that they shouldn't break up with someone who really isn't right for them, “Sadness is normal. Feel the grief, and then move on.”
6. You think your SO will change
For your SO to behave badly is one thing, but for you to think you can change him or her is another. “You cannot be responsible for someone else's happiness.The only way the other person is going to change is when he/she is good and ready. You staying will likely perpetuate the bad behavior. By leaving, you change the dynamic and give the person an incentive [to change his/her attitude].”
You can't stay in a bad relationship in the hopes that your SO will change overnight. If you really want him or her to evolve, its advises that you recommend counseling or self-help books to him or her—if you are comfortable enough to do so—but sticking around will only make matters worse